You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
