Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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