there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
