I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
