found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Alive.
So much puke
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
