actually, I'm a sock model
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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