So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
