Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
