im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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