Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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