OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
