As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
