yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
