When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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