i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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