You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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