somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
