Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
