She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
