His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize