watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
