i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
