are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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