I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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