Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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