I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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