Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
