i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
