Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
