Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
