Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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