He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
