You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
