If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love accidental penises.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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