yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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