She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
