By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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