Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
