we're blogging at a bar
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
