Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
