god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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