Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
