fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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