I wish you could order shots online.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
