Your tits are I can't wait for
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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