I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
false alarm, still single
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
