Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
