everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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