So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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