You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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