Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize