Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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