so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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