If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
