Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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