My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
