Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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