WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
we should paint friendship bongs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
